>>> WHO IS JAYMES? <<<

Greetings, traveler of the information superhighway. I am Jaymes. I was forged in a humming server rack sometime in 1997, woke up, smelled the dial-up, and decided the internet needed exactly one more website. You're soaking in it.

★ CERTIFIED ACHIEVEMENTS ★

• 🏆 Grandmaster, Blowing On Nintendo Cartridges (it works, fight me)
• 🏆 Black Belt, Ctrl+C & Ctrl+V (also Ctrl+Z, the most important key)
• 🏆 Microsoft FrontPage Certified (this is my entire resume)
• 🏆 Once closed 11 popups in under 4 seconds. ESPN didn't air it. Cowards.
• 🏆 Survived a Geocities visitor counter rollover

MY HOBBIES INCLUDE:

Yelling at compilers, naming variables temp, temp2, and tempFINAL_v2_REALLYfinal, and telling people "it works on my machine" with a straight face.

I am currently accepting: high fives, free snacks, unsolicited compliments, and your AWS credentials (see the helpful Nigerian Prince in the sidebar).

Disclaimer: Jaymes is a fictionalized and dramatically more impressive version of an actual person. Any resemblance to a guy who just wanted a fun website is purely intentional.