>>> YOUR PRIVACY MATTERS (to our buyers) <<<

WHAT WE COLLECT:

• Your data. All of it. Yes, that too.
• Your browser history (we judge you, but quietly)
• The names of all your childhood pets, for "security questions"
• Your dreams, hopes, and that thing you said in 2009 that still haunts you
• Exactly how long you hovered over the Tushy Tamer ad (no judgment)

HOW WE USE IT:

We promise to sell your data responsibly, only to the highest bidder, at a fair and competitive market rate. Profits fund more dumb games. It's basically charity.

COOKIES:

This site uses approximately 47,000 cookies. Some are tracking cookies. Some are chocolate chip. We will not tell you which is which. By scrolling, eating, or existing, you consent to all of them.

HOW TO OPT OUT:

Simply move to a remote cabin, abandon all technology, change your name, and never speak of the internet again. A confirmation pigeon will be dispatched within 6-8 weeks.

Legally distinct disclaimer: We don't actually collect anything. This is a static website that does nothing. Your data is safe because we are too lazy to take it.